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Add Value To Your Drunken Nights!
Date: 2006-04-14 18:18:05
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Add Value to Your Drunken Nights!
By Natalie Meyer

How many times do you wake up midday Sunday and yell at the world that someone must have stolen $50 out of your wallet?! That mysterious klepto in the bar seems to get all of us at some point? hmmm? or maybe it’s the alcohol which brainwashes us that, yes, we do need another round of slippery nipples at 2am when we are already tanked...

Well I am here to shock you! Now please don’t be too jealous but I have woken up with that same shock only to find cash in my handbag when all I brought out was the plastic.

No, I am not the klepto that stole your money.

Well... I may have used a bit of insider knowledge to pool our money and in the end I may have come out benefiting slightly...

I call this one the ’get organized’ money saving technique for avoiding cover charge at those favourite places of ours that make us wait for hours and then overcharge us because we become so desperate to get inside. (Note to self: the words organized and drunk don’t really work too well together so please try this at the beginning of the night...

Put on a smile and ask the bouncer if he can offer a group rate.

Figure out how many people are in line around you.

Divide the rate so that the total dollar amount is covered by the number of people in ’the group’.

Making sure your (and maybe your friends’ - depending on how generous/selfish you are) cover is paid for by the others in line

And hey, after all this hard work your usual boring wait in line will have passed you by and you are now inside at the bar where you may also end up with enough surplus money to buy the first round of drinks!

*Bonus sales technique: Remember that if you are able to get a good group rate AND you passed grade 12 math, you can get all the drunks in line excited that they are going to save a dollar or two and they will never clue in that you are taking advantage of them (or as I’d like to say ’being resourceful’) - win-win situation really.

Also remember that it is always good to be friendly with everyone in line. Try your best not to be biased of snobby looks, annoying personalities, or bad attire. You never know if they hold some fancy status and can tag you along to the VIP bar once you get inside. Or, even better they could be mates with the owner and pick up your cover and drinks all night - you never know, the possibilities are endless...

And so is a bar tab. Hence why I was always known to be in favour of playing the rounds game: always scared of what 16 vodka crans plus 20 beers plus 5 tequila can add up to and the stresses of finding all the consumers at this point in the night to divide and conquer the bill.

Money is that horrible thing that is easy to spend and always easier to spend after a few drinks!

However my arm was recently twisted into living on the edge and handing over my credit card to the barman at 7pm on a Friday evening out with the colleagues for just one. His smile said "I’m here to take care of you, this will be worth it" and I was churned to take the risk - okay, maybe I was hoping at some point Sam could add his cute self to the tab as well...but that’s a whole other story?

So in the end, when the ugly lights sprang on hours later (surprise surprise we stayed for just a few...) and the bill crossed hands it was not a copy of the drinks menu three times over but merely a round and a half’s worth of damage.

Sam was smooth and knew how to make everyone happy. We, of course, left a massive tip: he walked home as a slightly less starving student (or possibly an even richer entrepreneur) and we staggered on thinking more about the choice of pizza or kebab and less worrying about the week’s pay having been guzzled within the first day.

Money is that horrible thing that is easy to spend and always easier to spend after a few drinks. If we can be tactical enough to earn our disposable income, who’s not to agree that we can be tactical enough to save a few pennies while we enjoy consuming it away!

Now on to figuring out now we can make that discounted hangover a little less painful...

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